Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Three big things happened this week.

Ben went on his first date on Saturday, November 20. Her name is Alicia, and she asked him. They went to see Harry Potter and they had chili cheese fries for dinner. They had a good time and she is a cute girl.

The second thing is that Kimi donated her hair to Locks of Love.
Here is the before picture-

They cut off 10 inches.
Here is the after picture-

She's been begging to do it for months so we finally went over and had it done.

The third thing-

Today my therapist and I decided that I'm done with the therapy portion of my treatment. Neither one of us felt like there was a need anymore, but he let me know that if I am ever in need again he would be there to help me. I agreed. I am happier than I have been for years. Literally about three years. I cannot figure out why it took me so long to do anything about it. When I think of how I was living and feeling for that long, and how I feel now just a short time after I first picked up the phone, I am amazed at the difference. It is a totally different life. I feel like I am a better mother and wife, I can deal with things a whole lot better that I was, and I have the motivation and energy to do things that I haven't wanted to do for a very long time.
This whole last month has been such a revelation to me and I've learned so much about myself and the way I need to live to be happy and healthy. I can honestly say that by far the hardest and the best thing I have ever done in my life is to pick up the phone on October 8 and make that call. I'm so glad that I did.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I found this blog through a friend of mine, a lady I admire. It so describes how I feel sometimes - overwhelmed, sad, not able to control things. I was really impressed with her analogy of the signs. We all have them. We all want others to notice ours so that we don't actually have to say the words that are hard, sometimes impossible for us, to say. I hope you'll read this article and think about your signs and the signs others wear.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I just got back from an appointment with my ob/gyn. I went expecting to have a lengthy discussion about anti-depression medication and the side effects and risks of taking them. I had done a lot of research about treatments, and I was not excited about any of the drugs or treatments out there. The side effects of the medications sound horrible, at least as bad as the depression, and the withdrawl from the medication is really bad, but in most cases the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Of course, not everyone experiences any or all of the side effects or they might experience a slight reaction to the medication instead of a severe one. Either way, I don't like taking medication unless I absolutely have to.
Anyway, it turned into a discussion about polycystic ovarian syndrome. She is convinced that I have it and depression is one of the things that can happen when you have POS. I have all the symptoms. The only way to treat it is with diet and exercise. The symptoms of POS are irregular cycles, obesity, high blood pressure, pre-diabetes or diabetes (I am pre-diabetic), infertility. Guess how many of these categories I fall into? All of them. She was surprised that no one had ever told me before about this. She put me on a diet (the South Beach Diet) where you basically don't eat any sugar or processed food or white flour. No pasta, no bread, no candy or soda, etc. Lots of veggies and lean meats. I need to exercise for at least a half hour a day, too. She didn't put me on any medication. She wants to see if these changes make any difference. She's convinced that they will. So, I guess we'll see. I'd rather change my diet and lifestyle a bit than take drugs with undesirable side effects. I'll keep you posted.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

So here's the thing.
I have now officially been diagnosed with major depression. It's not something I enjoy talking about, or even wanted to acknowledge was a problem. I've been dealing with it on and off for seven or eight years, but it has been a part of my daily life for the past five. It has been pretty bad ever since Andrew was born two and a half years ago. I am at a point where it needs to be dealt with. Now.
Today was the first of many appointments I will have with a mental health professional. A psychologist. I am now a mental health patient.
I wouldn't be writing about this, but my doctor thinks that I need to expand my support group beyond my husband and my parents. I sortof agree with him. Not that I want to be treated or looked at differently, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone know what's going on.
So I figured that those who read this blog are the ones who know me well enough to be in on my team. Within the next few weeks I will be getting a physical checkup, getting hormone levels checked, having some therapy sessions, beginning an exercise program (blech), and probably going on an anti-depression medication.
It's scary, and it's hard to ask for help. But now that that I've taken that first step, the only place I can go is up.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

So, a couple of times a year DATC (Davis Applied Technical College) sends some of the students from their beautician program to the local elementary school to give free haircuts to any kid who wants one. You know, for practice.
I have never let any of my kids get one. Until today.
Emma has been begging to get her hair cut "above my ears" for months.
I usually cut the boys hair and the girls bangs, but I am horrible at the whole head girl haircut, so I signed the paper. I was a little concerned about the wording on the permission slip, though. It stated that I understood the risks and that DATC or their students would not be held responsible for any harm or damage that was inflicted during the hair cut. I signed hoping that Emma would come home with two ears and no scars and looking decent.
Here are the before pics (taken this morning).

And here are the afters (taken this afternoon).

I guess it didn't turn out too bad. Kindof cute even.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I realize that in the previous post that Emma's sunburn looks like the worse of the two. It's all an illusion. Josh is sunburned on his entire back (including the top two inches or so of his bum) and his entire chest. That's what happens when you are the child of two albinos who burn easily and you are outside in the water for hours without a bit of sunblock.
Josh got sunburned so badly that he has blisters on his shoulders and he has been in major pain since Friday evening. Last night the pain and itch associated with the burn were so bad that he was in tears. Mike had a neighbor come over and they gave Josh a blessing. He didn't get to sleep until well past midnight, but when he woke up this morning, he said the itch was gone and the pain was manageable. He still has a ways to go until he's done with this challenge in his life, but I think he's learned how important it is to follow the rules and listen to your mom when she says to put on sunblock. He's also had his testimony of priesthood blessings strengthened. Sometimes the most important lessons you have to learn in this life come because of major physical or emotional pain. I wish it wasn't that way, but it is. It's hard to see your children in pain or need and not be able to help them.
I imagine that that's what our Heavenly Father goes through every day.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

This is what we're dealing with around here-

Lots of ibuprofen, aloe vera, and whining.
Yay for us.