Thursday, October 28, 2010

So here's the thing.
I have now officially been diagnosed with major depression. It's not something I enjoy talking about, or even wanted to acknowledge was a problem. I've been dealing with it on and off for seven or eight years, but it has been a part of my daily life for the past five. It has been pretty bad ever since Andrew was born two and a half years ago. I am at a point where it needs to be dealt with. Now.
Today was the first of many appointments I will have with a mental health professional. A psychologist. I am now a mental health patient.
I wouldn't be writing about this, but my doctor thinks that I need to expand my support group beyond my husband and my parents. I sortof agree with him. Not that I want to be treated or looked at differently, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone know what's going on.
So I figured that those who read this blog are the ones who know me well enough to be in on my team. Within the next few weeks I will be getting a physical checkup, getting hormone levels checked, having some therapy sessions, beginning an exercise program (blech), and probably going on an anti-depression medication.
It's scary, and it's hard to ask for help. But now that that I've taken that first step, the only place I can go is up.


TL said...

Sorry to hear about that Michelle but so glad that we live in a day and age where help is available.
About 6 years ago I found out I had OCD. I remember sitting at the computer reading the diagnosis and crying. It was such a hard time in my life. I ended up being on medication for 4 years and after that I jumped head first into an exercise program (ran 2 marathons) that truly helped me change for the better. I'd love to be here for you if you need someone to talk to.

sara said...

i'm proud of you, michelle, and please know you can talk to me whenever you need to. i remember taking a class once and we were talking about depression. the professor was telling us how some people look at depression and just tell those suffering with it to buck up. he said, "you wouldn't tell a diabetic to 'buck up', so why would we deny someone suffering a real medical condition the help that they need?" please know how much we love and support you!!!

Schramm Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Schramm Family said...

Well, I think you are awesome. I just love you so much and I'll be on your "team" if you will be on mine. I'll send you a private e-mail to explain more. Im proud of you.

Taira said...

No i am not one of your followers but i understand what you go through just remember to keep your head held high and believe and trust that god will bring you through this. you may feel bad now but every thing will be OK. God bless!!!!!!!!!

Kati said...

Michelle. We love you. We support you. Keep your head held high. You are a wonderful mother, wife, sister in law, friend, etc, etc. even if you don't see what we do. Hopefully you will soon. :) :)
What ever you need...we are here for you. I think you are amazing for speaking up and getting the help you need to get better. I think that is the hardest part and you have done it! Good for you....Keep us updated and please, please, please let us know what we can do to help.

Pam Price said...

I totally agree with the idea of sharing what you are going through to gain a support group, Michelle!!! I've gone through periods of my life of SEVERE panic attacks (feeling like I was going to die or go crazy) and anxiety that were almost debilitating at times (mostly in my mid-twenties, but still have them off and fact, I had some panic attacks last night being home alone while Ryan is in Chicago), but once I started talking about my experiences, I found LOTS of my own friends/aquaintances had experienced the same things, and it helped me relate to others and not feel so alone, or so messed up!

I've also had periods of depression in my life, so I can definitely empathize with you there! I'm proud of you for taking these first steps to help yourself feel better :)

I'm a true believer in modern medicine and not feeling ashamed IF at some points in our lives we have to rely on it. HF gave people the knowledge to come up with these medicines for our benefit :) I know when I was at my worst, these are what got me through it.

I'm here to support you 100% :)

Pam Price said...

Oh, and things WILL get better from here, I promise :) You are taking healthy steps for a healthy new you. You should be proud of yourself :)

Angie said...

Good for you for getting the help you need. It is so important to have support. I'll be pulling for you!

teri said...

Hi Michelle!
Just hopping by.
Wanted to tell you that I think you are awesome. So cool and brave for you to talk about it.


Mom said...

Michelle, we are so proud of you for taking this step! We are with you 100%! Thanks for being brave enough to share this--what a gigantic step! Call me any time you just want someone to talk to--I am now home to stay! Our thoughts and prayers and love are always with you! Mom and Dad Price